Detainee Bill Gets All Sense Beaten Out of It

By now, everyone, especially John McCain, knows that President Bush is a low-life thug. But I knew this ever since the days Little Georgie and I went to pre-school together. Every day during the first week of school, Little Georgie said "let's be friends" and then punched me in the nuts. I fell for it every time. But then I got wise and started punching him back. After some time, we both agreed to stop beating each other up. We exchanged baseball caps, spit in our hands, shook on it, and then signed the Geneva Conventions. We became friends. We even got other bullies to sign our Geneva Conventions. And then Georgie scratched his crayon all over Common Article 3. And then other kids on the playground scratched out whatever they wanted. It wasn't long before one day, a bully came by and gave me the worst wedgie I'd ever known. And then he chained me up in a concrete cell, deprived me of sleep and water, desecrated my god, beat me till I blacked out, came on my face, and held me there indefinitely without a trial by jury. Vindicated.