Thais Tickled at Tanks

By now, anyone can see that Thailand really knows how to stage a coup. Not too long ago, the prime minister was ousted by current military leader Gen. Sondhi Boonyaratkalin, and not a single drop of blood was shed. Thai royalty gave its blessing to the new leader. Even the ousted prime minister seems to be doing okay; he's not putting up much of a fuss, but instead, he sits quietly and contemplates a very different version of his twilight years. It seems the biggest problem this new government is facing is ... go-go dancers that hang out in front of the tanks. Yes, there are tanks symbolically positioned in front of various government buildings, and just like moths to an armored tank, hordes of sexy young girls with hot pants and an itch to scratch have gathered to give those camouflaged grunts a flash of their swirly tom yum goong. It's kind of like when those riot control guys line up at rowdy war protest in Washington, D.C., and then all the girls take their tops off and start humping the police horses. Well, Thailand is no different. It got so out of control that sexy dancers were banned from hanging out in front of tanks on Wednesday, and the following day, the government went a step further and banned people dressed up like Japanese superheroes. Now, I want you to mark my words. Listen when I tell you that this is only step two in a long march toward banning all freedoms of expression in front of Thai military vehicles. Soon, you will see. I will be vindicated.