The Halloween Post

By now, even the Easter Bunny knows that Jack Skellington served Santa Claus his mistletoe on a silver platter right up his big red ass. I mean, this guy is the real deal. The war of the holidays is over. I saw The Nightmare Before Christmas in Real-D tonight. I have to honestly say that Real-D is, in fact, not to 3-D what Pepsi One is to Diet Pepsi. This one particular method of bringing movies that much closer to theme park rides is actually much better than the old method. The discomfitting hues of red and blue are gone. This new method goes right for your rods and leaves the cones cold in the dust. I didn't expect it to be this good. I can honestly say now that I was wrong. You see what this holiday does to me? It makes me feel vulnerable, and thus, able to admit that I was wrong. I feel warm all over. On which other day can you finally pay homage to Steve Irwin by pasting a stingray barb to your chest, and walk up to that girl with Freud quotes all over her slip, and say, "Hi. I'm scared too. You wanna make out?" Vindicated.