Santa Claus: Merely an Idea

By now, we've all come to grips with the notion that Santa Claus is not the person our parents led us to believe he is. He is not the one who brings us presents on Christmas. Nor does he live at the North Pole. In fact, no one lives at the North Pole except for scientists (and we don't want any presents from them anyway.) Santa Claus is not even necessarily "jolly." Nor is he the begrudgingly merry middle-class father Tim Allen would have us believe he is. He is none of those. He is the unmarried United States Postal worker at your local mall. He is lonely, and he is tired. And he might be just as disaffected as you. He is a product of his time. Much like Gerald R. Ford. What with the Nixon scandal at his back, that guy didn't have a chance. Do yourselves a favor. Go easy on Santa this year, and go easy on Gerald Ford. R.I.P. Somewhere a sleigh bell rings out: "Vindicated."