Rats Found in NYC Fast Food Restaurant

By now, you must have heard about the horde of rats that overtook a KFC-Taco Bell in New York City's Greenwich Village the other day. Is anyone really surprised? For most New Yorkers dealing with rats is just another part of daily existence. They're all over the subway stations, and late at night, you can't walk down a quiet street without seeing a rat scurry away. Rats are just as big a part of New York City as the Empire State Building and halal food. If you live there, you deal with rats. They come in all sizes, and they're no less sanitary than pigeons. And they won't crap on your head. Did you know that a rat's tongue is actually cleaner than your own? It's true because I read that in a book somewhere. That said, who the hell still eats at KFC-Taco Bell anyway? I stopped eating there right after puberty. When I was 14 and needed to shove as much shit into my stomach as possible, you could shove a bag full of uncooked lentils in front of me, and I'd scarf it down. But we're adults now. We know these fast food machines will kill us. Would you be surprised to find a horde of rats running around a dog food cannery or even a glue factory? (Rats will eat glue, you know.) I didn't think so. Don't be so shocked. I say, let them have the colonel and all his tacos. If we're running late and need a quick bite on the run, we'll just go to where the food is pumped full of so many chemicals that even rats won't touch it. Like McDonald's. Vindicated.