Shameful Drivel Somehow Hits No. 1 Mark

By now, every Hollywood insider knows that Marisa Tomei is the golden ingredient to any hackneyed and painfully misconceived movie idea. You take a dull script, mix in a couple of hokey, unfunny actors, add a dash of cliche, and top it off with a sprinkling of Tomei. What do you get? The most popular movie in America. Not just the most popular: Wild Hogs grossed over $38 million in its first weekend. It made over twice as much as the film in the No. 2 spot (Zodiac). What else is a studio executive to say, except thank God for Marisa. I spoke with Disney spokesperson Maria Gladowski about the baffling success of the film.
"Marisa? She's just great," she responded. I then asked about the rest of the film. She said, "We green-lit this project way back in November. At that time it was supposed to be a Van Wilder sequel. And then (John) Travolta called and told us he had a great idea for a romantic comedy in space. I told (director Walt) Becker, 'If you can make this work, I'll eat my foot.' And then Tim Allen got involved, and Will Smith's little brother came onboard, and someone found dirty pictures of Bill Macy's wife, and it just really got out of hand."
I asked where the idea to make this a motorcycle road trip movie came from. "I think Travolta had some leather left over from his Batman auditions in the 90's. By the time the actual plot was decided on, it didn't matter. We knew we were in a quagmire and our only line out was Tomei."
While her choice of projects has been largely hit-or-miss, Marisa Tomei is regarded as a reliable actress who can deliver a compelling performance in spite of a weak script. She is best known for her Academy Award-winning turn as Mona Lisa Vito in My Cousin Vinny.
"She's the only way to explain what happened here," said Gladowski. "I mean, does anybody really want to see a bunch of out-of-touch, sagging blowhards ride through a mid-life crisis onscreen? Of course not. Did you know this film actually ends with the Wild Hogs driving off into the sunset to the tune of "Born to Be Wild" while the bad guy cries out from the arms a fat, ugly woman he accidentally married? That's what I heard anyway. I haven't seen it." Vindicated.