Worst Bar in the Entire World

By now, all Brooklynites know that Great Lakes has the best jukebox. Any bizarre song or band you thought that no other bar would play - they have it. It's a joy to go there with your hipster friends on a Friday night and find that all the songs you might play for them at a party you might host if you had a decent apartment with roommates who didn't have weekend internships at galleries in Chelsea. You step up to that jukebox, and you step up to a home away from home. The only problem? They never play your songs. Here's what'll happen. You'll lay down $2 for 7 songs. You'll get really excited to hear what you selected. You'll dance around to other random songs from the 80s. You'll forget that you laid down $2. Then, the bartender yells, "Last call!" You say, "Wait, I haven't heard my songs! It's been almost 3 hours!" And then he will say, "What do you think you're doing?" And then you'll take your hand off his girlfriend's leg and say, "I want my songs!" Then he'll yell at you some more and tell you to get out of the bar. All of your friends will pretend like they don't know you. Oh, and that Puerto Rican girl with the tattoo of a chrysanthemum on her hip? She's actually the bartender's girlfriend. What I'm trying to say is this: please boycott Great Lakes at all costs. They're crooked and they don't care about how many $2 you put into their jukebox. They are evil. Vindicated.