Insincerity: The New Sincerity
By now, everyone loves irony, right? I can't tell you how many times I've heard the words "I love the 80's" coming from some teenybopper who wasn't even alive before Sean Penn and Madonna got divorced. If daddy's little girl actually lived through the 80's, she might just remember what a sugar-coated pile of AIDS-infected elephant dung that decade really was. The Brat Pack, leg warmers, Pong? Are people really sad these things are gone? This is the decade where men either wore pastels or a rat tail, and all women looked like linebackers. And who knows what technological advancements could have been made if our greatest minds hadn't wasted so much time fiddling their Rubik's cubes. There's only one good thing I can think of about the 80's. Well, maybe two. First: Michael Jackson was black, and as far as I know, he only slept with adult women. Second, and most important: the idea of something being "so bad that it's good," as far as I know, hadn't been invented yet. A shlub was a shlub, but at least he knew his place: Hollywood Squares. But things have changed. This is a very different world we live in today. And now that any washed up boob can revive a dead career with just an ironic curl of his lip on a reality TV show - no matter how rotten and un-sought-after that corpse may be (Dave Navarro, Gene Simmons, that guy from "Saved by the Bell") - all I ask is that you, the viewing public, please prepare yourselves for the comeback we've all been waiting for. From the very depths of every mother's nightmare, here he comes, the one, the only, Meat Loaf! On Broadway. Bat Out of Hell III. Album in stores soon. I mean, with all this shit you folks just ram down your own throats every day, just go out and buy the damn album. It's Meat Loaf, for Christ's sake. Vindicated.
By now, everyone loves irony, right? I can't tell you how many times I've heard the words "I love the 80's" coming from some teenybopper who wasn't even alive before Sean Penn and Madonna got divorced. If daddy's little girl actually lived through the 80's, she might just remember what a sugar-coated pile of AIDS-infected elephant dung that decade really was. The Brat Pack, leg warmers, Pong? Are people really sad these things are gone? This is the decade where men either wore pastels or a rat tail, and all women looked like linebackers. And who knows what technological advancements could have been made if our greatest minds hadn't wasted so much time fiddling their Rubik's cubes. There's only one good thing I can think of about the 80's. Well, maybe two. First: Michael Jackson was black, and as far as I know, he only slept with adult women. Second, and most important: the idea of something being "so bad that it's good," as far as I know, hadn't been invented yet. A shlub was a shlub, but at least he knew his place: Hollywood Squares. But things have changed. This is a very different world we live in today. And now that any washed up boob can revive a dead career with just an ironic curl of his lip on a reality TV show - no matter how rotten and un-sought-after that corpse may be (Dave Navarro, Gene Simmons, that guy from "Saved by the Bell") - all I ask is that you, the viewing public, please prepare yourselves for the comeback we've all been waiting for. From the very depths of every mother's nightmare, here he comes, the one, the only, Meat Loaf! On Broadway. Bat Out of Hell III. Album in stores soon. I mean, with all this shit you folks just ram down your own throats every day, just go out and buy the damn album. It's Meat Loaf, for Christ's sake. Vindicated.
posted by Vindicated at 10:49 AM
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